Twas the night before Christmas; all through the North Pole
Every creature was talking ‘bout Donald’s new role.
The President-Elect came out from left field,
And in a just a few weeks, great power he’ll wield.
The elves were all anxious, awake in their beds;
Fears of being deported bounced ‘round in their heads.
Jeff Sessions as AG would be a big smack,
Foreign elves deemed illegal could all be sent back.
And the Arctic toy shop in Canadaland,
Might get caught up in a Wilbur Ross plan.
With him leading Commerce, NAFTA’s future’s uncertain,
This year’s hottest supply of toys could be hurtin’
But a wage freeze provides a small silver lining,
Andrew Puzder thinks that those elves should stop whining.
Minimum wage will likely stay very low,
And Santa’s narrow profit margin is bound to grow.
He’ll need every penny, chubby, plump and of age,
Health insurance fees will dig into his wage.
If Obamacare goes, as Tom Price wants to do,
Self-employed Santa will pay for health too.
But Santa’s resilient; he will overcome,
The challenges mounting since Mr. Trump won.
He’ll load up his sleigh, the presents packed high,
And command his reindeer up into the sky.
But Rudolph’s red nose might not be so bright,
Given the upcoming smog warnings in sight.
Scott Pruitt has been tagged new EPA head,
Climate science is out; it’s ideology instead.
But a greater risk to Santa’s sleigh is of worry;
Rex Tillerson’s sympathetic to Russia’s war fury.
Putin’s jets might mistake the sleigh full of toys,
For a Syria-bound United Nations convoy.
Santa sits by his fire, contemplating what’s next,
His brow is concerted, his expression seems vexed.
He lets out a sigh, his tone not so fun:
“Happy Christmas to all, it might be my last one!”


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